26 4 / 2013

Do we have all of our nominees for queen on stage? Ok, good. I just want to say that you’re all winners, and I could not be happier that this school year is ending. Here we go - your Spring Fling Queen, future president of the United States, and the winner of two gift certificates to the Walker Bros. Pancake House - Hillary Clinton.
"Well, half the people at this library dedication are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I make Barack Obama look bad by comparison. So that’s not good.
To all those people whose feelings got hurt when I was First Lady - I’m really sorry. You know, I’ve never been to one of these things before, and when I think about how many people wanted this, and how many people cried over it and stuff…I mean, I think everyone looks like royalty today. Look at Laura Bush - that dress is amazing. And Michele Obama, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, and you look really pretty. 
So…why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean, it’s just plastic - we could really just share it. A piece for Laura Bush - a partial Spring Fling Queen. A piece for Rosalyn Carter. And a piece for Barbara Bush - she walks with a cane and still looks like a rock star! Thank you.”

Do we have all of our nominees for queen on stage? Ok, good. I just want to say that you’re all winners, and I could not be happier that this school year is ending. Here we go - your Spring Fling Queen, future president of the United States, and the winner of two gift certificates to the Walker Bros. Pancake House - Hillary Clinton.

"Well, half the people at this library dedication are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I make Barack Obama look bad by comparison. So that’s not good.

To all those people whose feelings got hurt when I was First Lady - I’m really sorry. You know, I’ve never been to one of these things before, and when I think about how many people wanted this, and how many people cried over it and stuff…I mean, I think everyone looks like royalty today. Look at Laura Bush - that dress is amazing. And Michele Obama, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, and you look really pretty. 

So…why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean, it’s just plastic - we could really just share it. A piece for Laura Bush - a partial Spring Fling Queen. A piece for Rosalyn Carter. And a piece for Barbara Bush - she walks with a cane and still looks like a rock star! Thank you.”

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    PERFECTION
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    OH MY FUCKING GOD YES
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